How Waiting is a Thief of Joy

I spend a lot of time waiting. Waiting until the kids go to bed. Waiting until the weekend. Waiting until winter is over. Waiting until I can sit down and write. I always seem to be waiting. The thing is: Waiting is a thief of joy. Let me explain...

Ahh, I've been waiting for this moment! (LOL)

If I think about it, I am always waiting. Like right now, I’m sitting on the end of my son’s bed waiting for him to go to sleep. Earlier in the day, I was waiting until the kids got home from school, or waiting until the kettle boiled, or waiting until something else. Parents in particular, we always seem to be waiting for something related to the kids, right?

It’s all too much waiting!

Now, I'm realising that life is in the waiting and the destination is death.

Sounds morbid, right?

It is. But I don’t mean it in a bad way. I mean that I need to try to start living in the now and keep my head out of the future. Because one day, the kids will have moved out, the mortgage will be paid off, I’ll be writing full time... and I’ll probably feel miserable lol, then guess what, after that I'll be dead (if I get that far).

Life is awesome.

I’m not just saying that. I genuinely think that. Yes, it’s hard, chaotic, noisy, exhausting, frustrating, heartbreaking, and whole list of other adjectives, but it is also amazing, beautiful, fun, rewarding, and an incredible gift.

Even right now, while I’m sitting on the end of a bed in the dark, listening to my twins make sleep noises, typing this with one finger and predictive text swiping on the new secondhand phone that my mum gave me, with the fire that my husband lit before he went to work in our fireplace. I can’t hear any arguing from my girls. Everyone is quiet and happy. I am writing, and I am warm and cozy, and now that I am thinking about it, this is totally a bottleable moment.

Grateful for the fireplace, the wood, and my husband who lit the fire

I feel positive that this is a moment that I will look back on with fondness, and one that I could easily have missed if I hadn’t taken this moment to be fully present.

So, right now, I’m no longer waiting.

I just am. Being. Here and now.

And I’m going to try to remind myself of this every day, ideally every moment of every day, because each moment is a moment that I won’t get back again and each moment contains it's own joy that I will miss if I'm waiting for something.

I don’t want to wait anymore. It’s not about the future, that will take care of itself if I take care of now.

I’m challenging myself to find joy in the time I get to listen to music in a traffic jam, or the joy in getting to read a book in a waiting room, or the joy in watching birds in the trees or the waving of the branches while I look out at the world outside as the kettle takes it’s time to boil.

This is mindfulness, right? Being fully present. Checking in with the senses, what I can see, hear, smell, feel, and taste. Bringing my thoughts back to right now.

That is joy.

A child might be having a tantrum, but there’s joy in the fact that they are here with me, safe, fed, clothed, and feeling comfortable enough to tantrum in front of me.

I might be running late, but there’s joy in the fact that I have somewhere to be, maybe access to an important service, possession of a reliable car, time available to do the thing, a healthy child, time to listen to the radio, or look up at the clouds in the sky, or maybe even have an important conversation along the way.

This mindset, this way of thinking and living, is true joy.

Can you see it?

It's all about gratitude, too.

How about we challenge each other right now to stop waiting and start living in the moment. This moment. Yep, now. Aren't you comfortable? Don't you have time to read this? Are the people that you love safe and healthy? Do you have everything that you need? Are you fed and clothed? Are there beautiful plants and trees around you? Do you have a home? Are there people who love you?

Yes! Right now. This is a moment that we won't get back, and this is the exact moment that you learn this secret to capturing joyfulness for yourself.

The key is keeping our minds in the present, checking in with our senses, and finding the good in each and every moment.

Then, you get to access true joy in every moment for yourself.

Are you in?

Tell me how you go!

Much love,

Marley

P.S. Enjoy reading this? Then you might also enjoy reading my e-novella, You Are Viggy, only $0.99 on Amazon. Find it HERE

A Poem a Day: Smashed - A poem about the insecurity of youth (+ a bonus poem about my cat)

During the month of July, I have challenged myself to write a poem a day. This is a little taste of what I have come up with so far and maybe it will inspire you to try your own Poem-a-Day challenge!

SMASHED

Smoke on her breath

I see her kiss

Drink in her hand

His on her hips

She moves

In time with the tune

The lights are dim

Only them in the room

And the heat of their bodies

They search and find

Something exciting

In the other of their kind

In this moment

They mean something

To someone

Can they stop hunting

For what will make them

Feel seen

And important

She dreams

Her night shortened

As he leaves

Her heartbreak recorded

In the pictures of her smiles

Before she met him

Her friends don't realise

That her hope grew dim

When he left

And made her feel

Like he guessed

Which one would be easy

Yes, it was her

Who was dreaming

Of meaning

Something

To someone

But he took

A small piece

Of her

When he fled

And she cried

That night

Alone in her bed

Because why

Should she try

When this is all

She gets

Used up

Spat out

Drink up

Pass out

This is what

Life is all about

For now

Because it hurts less

To put on a dress

And open her legs

Than to open her heart

And bleed

Maybe I'd have better results if I took the lid off?

Okay, so I am keeping up with my poem a day challenge, but some of them are deep and meaningful, while others... are not. Here's one about my cat:

CAT

Small furry friend

Asleep by my side

No stress for you

Oh, what a life!

Lift up your leg

And lick your black fur

You don't give a fuck

I pat you, you purr

Let's see what other gems I can come up with lol.

I am enjoying the challenge and am hope that some of what I am writing will make it's way into a poetry book of its own. Make sure you're signed up to my mailing list if you want to stay informed about this project and when it becomes available.

Much love,

Marley x

P.S. I already have two novels, four novellas, and a gift book available over on Amazon. Check them out HERE.

Love for Frida Kahlo

Frida Kahlo is my favourite artist. I love her work, her use of colour, her iconic face and unconventional beauty, and I love her story and attitude to life. So, here is a blog post dedicated to my love for Frida Kahlo.

Just call me Marley Kahlo... or maybe Frida Betts lol

My middle name is Frida.

It comes from a relative, not the painter, but it's still a link with the legend and a moniker that I feel proud to have.

Unfortunately, that is where the similarities end lol.

Name

I just found out that Frida's name is actually spelled 'Frieda', she just dropped the 'e' at some point. At least that is what I read last night in my Frida Kahlo book by Claudia Bauer. I picked up this book from my library last week; it has many beautiful pictures. I do recommend it. It is more about Frida's life than art though. Maybe her life through her art, but it doesn't go much into the art side of the art.

Life

Frida had a tough life.

She nearly died at 18 in a traumatic bus/tram accident, was pierced by a handrail and broke many, many bones. This accident caused her to become bedridden for a long time and it was in her bed that she started to paint. Before the accident, she was on track to become a doctor, but after, she was no longer able to. Because she was bedridden, the only thing she could see to paint was herself, with the help of a large mirror affixed to the canopy of her bed.

So, she began to paint herself.

Frida's husband cheated on her. A lot. Including with her sister. She also had multiple miscarriages and lots of ongoing health issues that caused her a lot of pain. I mean, this woman was dealt a rough hand. But, she didn't wallow in self-pity or give up, she found a way to do things that she enjoyed and was passionate about, and she fought hard to succeed despite all of the adversity.

Despite all of the pain and trauma that is evident in so much of her artwork, she is known for being a happy and positive person. She decided to wear clothes that made her feel happy, and she did things her own way, regardless of any external pressures.

Frida is my hero. She is strong, resilient, powerful, brave, and oh so talented!

Art

I enjoy painting but I am no artist. I don't really know anything about art. But I do know that I love Frida's paintings.

I love her brutal honesty.

Her paintings are like the most intimate of diary entries exposed for the world to see, she lays herself bare (sometimes quite literally) filled with hidden messages and innuendo.

She is real, and I value realness more than anything. I crave connection, and Frida's paintings hand you an intimate connection with her on a silver platter.

She doesn't look away.

"Frida Kahlo Rivera's work is a coloured ribbon wrapped around a bomb." - Andre Breton (French Poet).

I love this dress. So does Roger the purple sloth/monkey

Frida

Frida was smart. She cared about politics and wasn't just all talk; she got involved. She was funny and headstrong. She celebrated her Mexican heritage. She hung out with people like Piet Mondrian, Henri Matisse, and Pablo Picasso.

She is just so bloody interesting!

I am honestly so inspired by this incredible woman who has had such a massive influence on art, culture, and women all over the world.

Viva la vita, Frida.

Much love,

Marley x

P.S. As well as dressing up like Frida in my spare time, I also write books. They have nothing to do with Frida Kahlo, other than being my own attempt at expressing myself creatively. You can find out more HERE.