How to share your work, loud and proud, and manage that inner beast feeding you lies.
The ultimate guide by a non-professional (and imposter - hah!).
What is Imposter Syndrome?
It is the feeling that I am not good enough.
I am not worthy. What I do is no good. Other people are so much better than me. I shouldn't bother trying. Other people will laugh at me. They are laughing at me. They think I suck. I am a laughing stock. I will fail. I am failing. I don't deserve anything.
That.
If you are a creative, then I know you feel it.
Do you want to know why I know?
Because I feel it too. All of those things, plus the added bonus of: Who am I to write about imposter syndrome? I haven't even achieved anything!
I battle with it so much that I should name it 'Cindy' and reserve it a seat at public events. That would totally work because it makes me want to distance myself and hide away the things I do because I feel like I'm not good enough. So, the empty chair space between me and the next person would totally help it win.
Now, let me tell you something that might just blow your mind:
You are not alone
I'm pretty sure that the only person on the face of the planet who doesn't have imposter syndrome, is Donald Trump, and nobody wants to be that guy, right?! (ooh yeah, I went there!)
Okay, jokes aside, let me give you some hot tips.
These tips will not stop you from feeling imposter syndrome, but, what they might help you do is feel the feelings and do your thing anyway.
So, without further ado, here are
10 tips to help you navigate Imposter Syndrome:
1. Stop comparing yourself
It is so easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other people.
Stop it. Close the Facebook page, and walk away from the screen.
There will always be people who are better than you, and there will always be people who are worse, but we are all different and there is space for us all.
2. Use your support people.
Talk to people who care about what you are feeling and who want you to succeed.
Allow them to help you feel good about yourself and what you do. Let them encourage you.
3. Remind yourself of your wins and celebrate them as they happen
No matter how small. Celebrate that you have started or completed something. Celebrate that sale or the good feedback you got.
Don't forget that you are getting better.
Every time you do what you do, you are learning, growing, and improving. Go you!
4. Ignore the haters (including yourself)
Block. Delete. Hang up. Distract. Change the subject. Whatever it takes.
Now, there is a difference between constructive criticism and hate. Pull from it what you can use, and ignore the rest.
"My four-year-old could write a better story than you." = Hate.
"The dialogue was clunky and unbelievable." = Useful. Painful, yes, but use it to learn and grow.
I made these quotes up, but my time is coming. That, I know.
You suck. This sucks. You're just embarrassing yourself.
Nope. Wrong. Don't go there. Distract yourself, reinspire yourself, rest, talk it out, but don't let yourself stay there.
5. Don't aim for perfect
There is no such thing and you will always fall short.
The best you can do is your best.
6. Take a break
Remind yourself of the other important shit you have going on in your life: kids, house, partner, job, friends, sports, etc. These things matter. This thing that you do that is giving you imposter syndrome is only part of your story.
7. Catastrophise
Okay, a strange strategy here, but it can help me put things into perspective, so it might help you too.
Think worst case scenario. What is the worst thing that could happen? People will laugh at you? You'll look stupid? You'll trip over? And how long will the fallout from that last? A week? A month? So, you write a shitty book that people think is crap. Fine. Who cares? Will people stop talking to you or stop being your friend? They'd be no loss if they did! Nobody buys your paintings? Oh well, it isn't about the selling, it's about the painting, which you did, because you are a creative and you need a creative outlet, and you are a better person for allowing your creativity to flow.
It is about the process. Be creative because you want and need to be creative, because you are a creative. Not everybody is going to vibe with what you do, and that is okay.
8. No pain, no gain
If it doesn't hurt, you're not growing, right? That's what people say, anyway.
Many amazing creatives have felt the same feelings. Use those feelings to drive you.
In the words of My Chemical Romance: 'Thank you for the venom'
9. Put a time limit on it
When it gets to be too much and you can't overpower the imposter syndrome, stop trying to. Put a time limit on it.
Let yourself feel the feelings. Let yourself feel shit. Give yourself rest, space, and time from your creative thing, if you need it. Allow yourself to feel that way for the next hour, or day, then get up in the morning, shove that F***er in a box, and do your thang.
10. Feel the fear and do it anyway
Do it scared and full of doubt. F**k imposter syndrome. Don't let it win. Be creative. Do shit art. You are a creative goddess and you are freaking brave and awesome for letting that creativity out of you and holding it up to the light. You rock!
Out of the billions of people on this incredible planet, there are absolutely, most definitely, WITHOUT A DOUBT, many, many people who will totally love whatever it is that you do. Not only that, but they need it. It will help them. And you doing your thing will help other people feel okay about doing their thing. Ignore the imposter syndrome and do the thing FOR THESE PEOPLE. Stop being selfish. Forget about you. Not everything is about you, Karen! (lol oops, sorry to the 75 Karens that I know. Don't hate me. I love you.) Allow me to correct myself: Not everything is about you, MARLEY!
Read the book that I wrote, and continue to promote, with imposter syndrome by my side:
Much love.
Marley x
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