That is the million-dollar question, right? How do I manage to read and write books, work part-time, and raise 5 little humans? Read on, and this blog post may help you get all your things done too!
Okay, full disclaimer here, because I feel like a total imposter; I was asked to write on this topic, but...
I don't have any secrets.
Come to my house on the right day and you'll see me in a heap on the floor just like anyone else. Possibly crying. Possibly eating. Probably cleaning up a spill of some sort.
I do not have it all together, and I do not have the answers. My house is a hazard, my kids hear swear words, and my prayers often sound something like: 'Lord, help me! Help me be grateful. Help me succeed. Help me be the wife and mother that I wish to be. Help me to shine your light, because I suck at all of it and I'm not finding any of it fun right now.'
Yep. The picture of me above is what I want you to think life looks like for me, but in reality, it's loud, messy, chaotic, hectic, and just downright craziness MOST OF THE TIME.
Okay, so this post probably isn't going to tell you anything that you haven't heard before. There will be no 'so that's how she does it' ah-ha moments, BUT, what I will do is pass on some of the things that I have learned from other people, that help me to do all the things whilst in the midst of the chaos. That's a key point. Don't wait for the right or perfect time.
Story time. In 2020, locked down with newborn twins, I signed up for Leonie Dawson's 40 Days to a Finished Book course and ended up with my first novella, You Are Woman. You know the main thing I remember from that course?
Leonie saying, "Just write the F***ing book." I remember her saying things like: don't think about whether it's any good, whether anyone will read it, how you will market it, whether you should research more, or clean the fridge, or whether you are good enough. Don't give yourself time or permission to get overwhelmed. "Just write the F***ing book."
Just do the thing.
Don't worry about perfect. Done is better than perfect. Don't wait for the right time. "Just write the f***ing book."
Even when you don't want to.
Just do the thing.
And that is how I do things now. I do things messy. I do things loud. I do things less than perfect. I do what I can, with what I have. I don't aim for perfect, or nothing would ever get done - or if they did, I'd never be happy with the result.
So, thanks for your wisdom, Leonie. But now it's time for a little nugget of wisdom from yours truly:
Getting better really is about getting yourself ready to hear the right thing, in the right way, at the right time.
That's why you can hear one thing from your husband and instantly discount it, then hear the same thing from your BFF or mother and be receptive to it (guilty). It's not the thing being said. It's you, and where your brain is at.
Are you getting me?
These points may not be revelational, buuuut, the key to their success (and getting all the things done) is YOU, not me, or anyone else.
Okay, I went off on a tangent before I even began, but mindset is that important. So much so, that I'm going to make it point #1
Work on your mindset
I am definitely no self-help guru, but I freaking love self-help shit.
The right mindset ensures you know that YOU CAN DO ALL THE THINGS.
You can. Go listen to some Tony Robbins or find some affirmations to repeat, because believing you can is half the battle. Truth.
Goal setting
What is it that you want to do? What are 'all the things', for you?
Work it out and get clear on it so you know what you want to get done every day, every week, every month, every year, and for your lifetime.
Set short and long-term goals. Write them down. Check them regularly. Cross them off. Add to the list.
I use Leonie Dawson's My Brilliant Year Workbooks. Every. Single. Year. Since I discovered them in 2016. I am an affiliate. They are great. Check them out for yourself. But if they aren't your thing, you could just nut out your own goals, write them on any old piece of paper, stick it on your wall, and look at it regularly. Yessir.
Be okay with any amount of progress
Any progress is better than none.
Be proud that you are heading in the right direction and moving forward.
Baby steps are okay.
For me, writing 20 words on my work in progress is better than none. Win.
Prioritising
This is a big one for me. I do all the things because I don't do all the things, hah!
My house is always messy. I can live with that.
We often eat super quick meals, like chicken tender wraps or soup and homemade bread (yay for breadmakers). I am okay with that, too.
Prioritising means working out what you need to do, but it also means working out what you are okay with not doing.
Listening to inspirational people / Surround yourself with inspiration (and stay focussed)
This goes hand-in-hand with the first point - work on your mindset. But it doesn't mean that you need to listen to self-help gurus.
It means listening to anyone who inspires you to do the things you want to do: authors, mummy podcasters, entrepreneurs, business owners, philanthropists, whatever it is that helps you get and stay clear on the things you want to do, and whoever it is that makes you excited to want to go and do the things.
This extends to surrounding yourself with things that lift you up, not drag you down or cause you to lose focus. Watch inspiring movies, listen to inspiring, upbeat music, and spend time with people who want you to succeed.
Constant learning and self-development
There are always ways to improve in every single area of your life.
Atomic Habits by James Clear taught me that lots of tiny improvements add up to bigger ones.
If you want to write a book: read lots of books, listen to podcasts by other authors, sign up for other author newsletters, watch grammar videos on YouTube, yes to all of the book-related things, sure. But...
Improving in other areas of your life will also help you do the thing (in this case, write the book). Improvements for you may come in the form of eating better, going to bed earlier, exercising, learning another language, meditating, trying a martial art. You know what you can improve on. Whatever it is that moves you forward as a person, will help you to do all the things, too. It's a domino effect.
Trying new things
Want to do a thing that you haven't been able to do, yet?
Try it another way.
Want to write a book? Try verbal dictation, try spending a few hours with your laptop in the library, try writing in a coffee shop, try writing in the car, try handwriting in a notebook, try dot points then flesh it out, try plotting, try pantsing, try getting up early and doing it first thing, try writing in bed at night. Try writing a different genre, try writing it as a serial and release one chapter at a time on Wattpad.
If one thing hasn't worked, try another thing, or try another way.
If you are constantly learning and surrounding yourself with the right inspiration, then you will likely get ideas to try.
Just do it
This is the dot point that nobody wants to read. It should also be #1, but I already had a #1. That's okay though, because I spoke about it even before #1. So, here it is again, in my un-numbered list.
If you want to do the thing. Just go and do the thing.
Or, you could make excuses.
Baby steps, remember? If you write 50 words a day, you will have a 50,000 word book in less than 3 years (if that's your thing). Bonza, mate!
Look after yourself
If you don't look after yourself then you will never get the thing done. Either you won't start, or you'll burn out.
Make time for self-care. Mental health matters.
Focus on the positives, celebrate your wins, put time limits on your wallowing, and do what is right for you at the time - this will change depending on your season of life and what is going on inside your head. That is okay. You are exactly where you are meant to be, learning the things that you are meant to learn.
Now, go forth and do the things.
Now.
No, really.
Go. Do it.
Much love,
Marley x
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