Parenting twin preschoolers is NEXT LEVEL! How? Let me tell you (and maybe whinge just a little bit).
Double the work This is the no-brainer. Of course it is double the work. Two bodies to bathe, dry, and dress. Two mouths to feed and sets of teeth to brush. Two bags to pack. At story time, they are NEVER going to want to have the same book read. At lunchtime, they will rarely want the same thing to eat. My twins even have differing toothbrush and paste preferences: Twin A gets the orange toothbrush and Spiderman toothpaste, while Twin B gets the white toothbrush and the white toothpaste. Ya get me? No cut and paste over here. One twin will want you to draw a picture of a crocodile, while the other will want a flower on Godzilla. It is absolutely twice the work!
They feed off each other If one is being loud and crazy, then the other is bound to get loud and crazy too. If one is tired and wants to go to sleep and the other doesn't, you bet that the twin who doesn't want to sleep is going to stir up the twin that does so that you have two hyperactive little bodies that ain't gonna sleep any time soon and double grumpy tomorrow. If you're out and one starts misbehaving, the other will take their twin's cue and start misbehaving too, because, hey, why not? Yep. I hate to say it. Man, I reeeeally don't want to. It's killing me. I'm trying to hold it in.... Must... Not... Say... Double trouble. Darn. Yeah. That.
They seek one another's approval and less of anyone else's If a single baby doesn't get your approval, they might not like that. If you show them that you're disappointed, or tell them that what they're doing is not making you happy, they might respond to that. But twins? It might slow them down for a tiny wee little miniscule moment, but then when they turn around and see the support and approval in the face of their twin, well, your disapproval doesn't seem very important all of a sudden. So what if you don't like me throwing food on the floor, my twin thinks I'm hilarious!
No downtime With one child, you might find some snippets of time to yourself. Perhaps, a moment while they nap, watch a television show, or do some colouring. With twins, you can bet that if one is settled in front of the television, the other wants you to make them a sandwich and build them a tower. There is RARELY any downtime. No weeing in peace, no conversations with friends, no slow sips of coffee in the morning to wake you up while they stare at cartoons. None of that. Go. From the moment you open your eyes until the moment you close them again. And even then, a twin will probably wake you in the night because they had a bad dream or need to wee and want you to go with them.
The fighting Oh em gee. If you know, you know. Twins FIGHT. Well, my boys do, I can't tell you if twin girls do too. Now, I'm not talking about a squabble over the blue texta or one pushing over the other in the sandpit here, I'm talking about a full-on WWE-style smackdown. Throwing chairs across heads, bodyslamming, scratching, chokeholding, punching, climbing up on ladders to jump off elbow-first and cleave skulls open with olecranons. All in a day.
Toilet training Do I really need to expand on this one? Yeah, it could just be a part of the first point: Double the work, but I really feel like this needs a point of it's own. I've earned this point lol.
Cost I bet you think that twin parents get deals and discounts. Most of the time, we don't. Extra nappies, groceries, photo packages, extracurricular activity fees, uniforms etc - and we're not even at school yet! I just know that this is going to get worse. The one thing I feel we can get away with less than double of, is toys (for now), and recently, we have an increased childcare subsidy for Twin B (which is a blessing and what made it worth me returning to work).
You've got your hands full Ugh. Another thing that people like to point out regularly. It used to bug me so much. They mean that you look busy, but the thing with twins is that you literally have your hands full. Like, holding the hand of each twin leaves you with no hands to press the button on the pole to cross the road, or unlock the car, or pay for the groceries. And if you let go of a hand, then you can guarantee that one or both twins will be off like a shot. Gone. And then you have to yell. Or run. Neither are fun.
It's harder to get them looked after With two children who require constant vigilance and attention, it is much harder to find someone willing and able to watch them while you do anything. It feels like a big ask of anyone.
Non-stop noise They don't seem to care if their twin is already speaking, they will just talk louder and you will need to adapt to having two completely separate conversations at exactly the same time. Then, when they've finished speaking at you, they will go off and do loud things so that every single ounce of space is taken up with sound of some sort.
The touching Add the touching to the noise, multiple conversations, fighting, dressing, climbing, pulling, screaming, playing, and draining, and you will likely end up with way too much sensory input and your head might just explode.
Yeah. Parenting twin preschoolers is EXHAUSTING, but, despite my sooking, I know that I am hugely, amazingly, and incredibly blessed. My boys are besties (and worsties) and I have the absolute joy of watching them grow and play together. When I pick them up from kinder, I have two gorgeous little humans running towards me to fling their arms around my neck and pass me artwork that they have done (we need a bigger fridge lol). I get multiple flowers picked for me when we go for walks. I get to see two very different and amazing minds approach the same thing in two unique ways. My twins share clothing and play well together with other children, while I get to lap up praise and admiration from other mothers who say "I don't know how you do it!" You know what? I don't know either. This shit is HARD, but the rewards are infinite (and hopefully when I'm old, someone will come and visit me lol).
I will always admire parents of higher-order multiples. I am certain they must be superhumans, or aliens.
Much love,
Marley x
P.S. My twinnies are the best.
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